Notes — I know that my parents baked this pie with the best intentions. I respect them for that and providing food for four children. We did not want for food. That being said — This recipe is based on the worst, most bland, and dry pie I’ve ever had. It is not the original recipe. The original never had uncooked celery.
For whatever reason, my family loves this pie-shaped desiccant. Note the tbsp of broth for moisture. It was always made with love in the same way roads to hell are made with good intentions. Note the complete lack of seasoning. The bone-dry crust. This pie simply exists to spite me. The memory of it haunts the memories of my childhood like a specter. It is an immovable object in a cruel world for any world with this pie is one that is cruel. If Jesus ate this pie and Satan himself offered him water? He. Would. Drink. It. I cannot and do not recommend making it. This is my second least favorite pie my family ever made. (unknown kcal/recipe)
Ingredients (Filling)
- 1 rotisserie chicken, shredded
- 4 large carrots, chopped
- 2–3 stalks of celery.
- 2–3 large potatoes, chopped
- 1 1/2 boxes of chicken broth
- 1 tbsp cornstarch
- salt+pepper to taste
Ingredients (Crust)
- 2 cups flour
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 2/3 cup shortening
- 5–7 cold tbsp water (add one at a time)
Instructions
- Shred the chicken and put it in a bowl. Peel and chop carrots and potatoes. Cook the carrots and potatoes separately until they are half way done. Drain and add to bowl with chicken. Chop celery and add to mixture. Put the chicken broth into a pan and add one tbsp of cornstarch. Stir and warm up until it thickens. Do not let it get as thick as gravy, it should be more thin. Pour both mixture into the chicken mix. Stir and let sit while you make pie crust.
- Pie crust (makes 6 bottoms and 6 tops). Mix flour and salt in a bowl. Cut the shortening into the mixture and combine. Add one tbsp of water at a time until the mixture is moist. You will definitely need 5 tablespoons, possibly up to 7. Don’t knead. Shape into a bowl. Flour a surface and foll out dough to desired crust size. Put the crust into pie dish, fill with chicken mixture, and then add crust to the top. For added moisture, add a tbsp of chicken broth to pie before adding the top. Seal the top and bottom crusts and make a small cut in the top. Bake at 400˚F for 45 minutes. If frozen, bake at 425˚F for an hour.